Neutral Spotlight – Hon. Joseph W. Milam, Jr. (Ret.)
With over 80 distinguished Neutrals—including retired judges and seasoned attorneys—serving Virginia, Washington, D.C., and Maryland, The McCammon Group is excited to continue our “Neutral Spotlight” series. This ongoing feature highlights the exceptional expertise, diverse experiences, and unique backgrounds of our Neutrals. Through these spotlights, we offer a closer look at the professionals who are committed to delivering fair, effective, and innovative dispute resolution services. Join us as we showcase the individuals who contribute to The McCammon Group’s reputation as a trusted leader in alternative dispute resolution.
- If you could pick a superpower, what would it be and why? When I was a very young child, apparently inspired by Superman, I tied my blanket around my neck and took a leap off a coffee table knocking out my front two teeth. I’ve always wanted to be able to fly.
- If you could swap lives with any person for a day, who would it be and why? I can think of many people who are much more powerful, intelligent, talented, beautiful and wealthy than me. It might be tempting to swap lives with such folks for a day. But, in the parlance of a poker player, I’ll check. The shock of such a diversion would probably be too much.
- What’s a fun fact about you that most people don’t know? Some, but probably not many people know that I majored in geology in college. l don’t consider myself to be a “rock hound,” but I am a fan of geological history. Understanding the origin of the Appalachians and contemplating geological time are questions which I find fascinating.
- If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? I’ll take the 5th on this question. I’m afraid my words might incriminate me. Actually, if I am honest, I would have to say lucky, blessed, and amazed. I use these words based on how fortunate and blessed I am to have such a wonderful family, which now includes grandchildren, and to have enjoyed so many wonderful friends and colleagues. And I am amazed at where I am today . If you would have known me as a child, you would understand.
- What do you enjoy most about being a Neutral? Facilitating closure is a wonderful thing. Over the course of being a trial judge for over 23 years, I don’t think I ever observed both sides depart after a contested trial with a feeling of satisfaction. It is remarkable to see contestants who may have been embroiled in a major controversy come together when a case resolves. One can literally observe how appearances and mannerisms change when the stress of conflict is lifted.
- What qualities do you think are essential to be an effective Neutral? Patience, empathy, willingness to listen to all involved, being prepared, being engaged and interested are all critical traits of an effective Neutral. A Neutral cannot be effective unless all parties recognize a Neutral’s total impartiality. To that end, an effective Neutral must be keen to nonverbal cues and other indications that a party’s comfort level about impartiality may be compromised. And, an effective Neutral must be able to build trust.
- How do you handle situations where both parties seem unwilling to compromise? One effective tool to promote compromise is to talk about what can be expected to happen if the parties fail to reach an agreed disposition. It can also be helpful to remind the parties that they likely would not be involved in a mediation in the absence of a desire to end the litigation and reach a final agreement. It is also important to remind parties of the benefits of closure. Bracketing is one tool that can be employed to avoid impasse, but it is critical to urge the parties to keep going. The dynamics of mediation can produce major shifts if the process is allowed to continue.
- What do you think the biggest misconception about mediation is? Perhaps the most preposterous misconception I have heard is that a lawyer who agrees to mediate is afraid to go to trial. Another misconception is that mediation will only add to the cost of litigation. It actually affords an opportunity to minimize costs. Depending upon the type of case, and the timing of the session, mediation can significantly reduce costs.
- How do you maintain neutrality when emotions run high in a dispute? Neutrality, and the appearance of impartiality must be practiced at all times, even when a proceeding becomes heated. An effective Neutral has to stand above the fray. There is an important distinction to be drawn between neutrality and honesty. Sometimes, a Neutral might find it necessary to question the wisdom of a particular approach and may be tasked to provide an evaluative response. However, a Neutral cannot be confrontational and has to maintain civility in all interactions.
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? Perhaps the best advice I received as a lawyer came from a former senior partner during a discussion about a case I felt very strongly about. I was directed not to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
The Honorable Joseph W. Milam, Jr. recently retired after twenty-three years of distinguished judicial service on the bench of the 22nd Judicial Circuit Court of Virginia (City of Danville), including two terms as Chief Judge. Prior to the bench, Judge Milam enjoyed a successful career in private practice, litigating a wide range of civil cases. He is a Past President of the Danville Bar Association and the Former Judicial Representative on the Joint Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee of the Virginia Bar Association and the Virginia State Bar. Judge Milam has served his community on various boards and committees, including as a member of the Executive Committee of the United Way of Danville, as President of the Goodwill Industries of Danville Area, Inc., and as a Chairperson for the Danville Area Chamber of Commerce. Judge Milam now brings this record of dedication and accomplishment to The McCammon Group to serve the mediation, arbitration, judge pro tempore, and special master needs of lawyers and litigants throughout the Commonwealth.